I’ve been broken before.

I was broken when my parents got a divorce.

I was broken when I found out my little brother had a terminal disease.

I was broken throughout the entire battle for his life.

I was broken when cancer claimed the only brother I’ve ever had.

I started to break again when I dated him during senior year.

I broke more each time he threatened suicide, each day he further cut me off from my family and friends, each hour I spent fighting him over his life.

I was relieved when we broke up, thinking it was all over.

I was broken again when he and a friend blackmailed me for months with private business.

I broke even more spending my days in a courthouse to get him out of my life, for good.

But I was put back together when you came into my life.

You showed me how to have fun again.

You taught me to be happy and leave my past where it belongs.

You became my guidance, my role model, my support system, my outlet.

You showed me how love is supposed to feel.

You made me want to be in love with myself.

You were my motivation to be the best person I could be.

You were my punching bag, my shoulder to cry on, the victim to my insane levels of sass.

You gave me so many memories, so much happiness, so much respect, so much life.

You are the only man I can truly say I love with all of my heart.

But I broke the hardest when we ended things.

I break every time I see your face in my photo library.

I break every time I read through texts from when we were happy.

I break every time you come over “just for fun” and leave with yet another piece of me.

I break more each time you say I need to move on, each time you say you don’t want me, each time you ignite the silence between us.

I break when you’re nice to me, even though I know it really means nothing.

I break hearing about how you’ve moved on, how great she is, how great you are.

I still break every night that I don’t get a “Goodnight Kiana, I love you” text.

I break thinking about what could’ve been.

I break without feeling.

I am constantly breaking.

But it’s okay… I’ve been broken before.